My social calendar has been out of control as of late. For the first time in a long time, I have guy friends (lots of them) – and I love them! In my last relationship, I always used to lament their absence. (What I actually missed was the no-strings-attached attention and companionship.)
New friends of the opposite sex are THE most difficult things to find when you are in a relationship. Now that I am out of one, they are the easiest – which brings me to this certain truth: straight men are only friends with women they want to sleep with.
My brother said something like this years ago (hint: just substitute f*** for “sleep with”), and though I vehemently disagreed with him at the time, have since collected enough evidence to say that he is absolutely right.
Women are the opposite. They’ve got friends who are girls, friends who are guys, and ALSO people they want to date / sleep with. Separate categories.
Of course, over time, lustful feelings can fade and a sustainable friendship can develop. Just remember, if he initiated contact, he was definitely trying to get in your pants.
Right now I’ve got wonderful male friends and a sex-less, boyfriend-less life. I’m platonically shucking oysters, co-making friendship dinners, having friendly bar crawls (sans drunk make-out sessions), and the most unromantic dinners at dimly lit proposal venues. It’s entertaining, but lacking a certain something…
We’re using each other, my male companions and I. We’re playing “couple”…and though fun, the fantasy has an expiration date. The minute one of us finds a girlfriend or boyfriend, it’s over. Once again we will be transported to the island of the unavailable, with no access to new friends of the opposite sex. Well, until we are voted off the island that is (aka dumped).